An extract from my personal 2017 Year in Review:
” This not-a-very-story-like-story revolves around the need for struggle and change. The impulsive and raw transformation which challenges the mind and soul in a way that no positive experience ever could. The times when you’re at your most low, plagued with depression and anxiety so strong it feels the world consumed you during the night, spitting you out the other side in a jumbled mess of emotion and anger. These were the times when you spend the entire night awake, reliving your day as if to re-evaluate every action, every move and every word. The times when the words end up evading us – when not a phrase is uttered from the mouth of the person who tends to say the most. When you realise who you are. When I realised who I was.
Without sounding too dramatic, this is the year I faced. At least, the first half of it. The reason I bring it up is simply because it brought me the greatest year of my life. Whilst I hardly remember January through April, I remember the times since. I remember the daily struggles turning into mere stepping stones, easy enough to cross for even the most weary. I remember the friendships I found in the places where there was none before. I remember the people I cut off, loosening the rope which tied their toxicity to me. I remember Vladimir’s struggle fading, the endless waiting replaced with a spark of excitement. I remember the lowest points in my life growing into distant memories, replaced by only what they inspired. This year contained the best and worst times of my life – a year of self discovery and inspiration, when I grew in ways beyond my finite understanding, took challenges which pushed me into places I’ve never been – rediscovered who I was and solidified my cause.
It was the year where I found my place in leadership, in my position as Primarius of my residence, in my ser group, in my friends, in my degree. I found what made me tick, I grew tired of mediocre and found inspiration in the exceptional. I found those people who challenge me, those who I can challenge – and those who dream further than my mind could ever think to venture. I found love, I found happiness and I found myself. I couldn’t have asked for more.
“Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel, you can’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving, you will come to a better place.”
I will never forget how I struggled. How I couldn’t find my spark. But I will never let it stop me again. University has provided me with more than I ever thought – regardless of education; it provided me with a clean start where I could rediscover, rethink and reevaluate myself. It provided me with a place where I could find others, start companies together, think together, sing together, act together and dance together. Where we could venture into the unknown together, staring into the endless stars with equal fascination in our eyes. Where we could lead together, change together and grow together.
Life, you’ve provided me with more than I bargained for this year. Thank you. I am ready for the challenges that await, I’m ready for the excitement that next year will bring, and most importantly of all, I’m finally ready to accept myself. You have given me the hand which I needed, and after a year of losses, I’ve finally drawn my royal flush. “