Eyes share secrets. They share the souls of the wearer, the thoughts of the subconscious and the love of the other. They tell more about a person than any other. When they sparkle, they ignite a space – bringing a blaze of warmth or sheer of seriousness to any room. When they dull, they unleash a vortex of dread, a black hole for energy which removes the spark from the space.
My eyes sparkle. At least I try to make them. But you see, today; my eyes just don’t. Today, my eyes are dull because of nobody else but you. You. Worst of it, I have no idea who you are.
All of you. Every single one.
You’ll never understand the pain you cause. The way your eyes judge lash wounds deeper than you could ever begin to imagine. You know, sometimes I don’t know whats worse – the original insults you hand me; or your insults which confirm the disillusioned degradation I’ve placed on myself over the years. In one case, your words cannot impact me. In the other, all they do is eat me away from the inside.
Why are you like this? Why? What satisfaction does it give you to degrade others the way you do? Who are you wanting to become one day? Who are you wanting to become? Who.
You’ve caused me to feel so alone. How can I have so many people who care for me, and yet feel so isolated? How have you done that? How have you managed to take away my happiness? What the fuck are you?
Just disappear. That’s all I ask. I can’t emotionally handle your judgement of me anymore. Take your words, and just disappear. That’s all. Find me when you decide to meet the real me. The me I’ve come to love. If you can’t take it, you don’t deserve a space in my failing brain.
That is all.